Summer's Arrival

This past Saturday we celebrated Summer's Arrival at my church. Usually in Paganism, summer's decline is actually celebrated at the Solstice (around June 21st), but the Summer Solstice -- also called Litha -- is a huge time for Pagan festivals around the States, so our church instead does a simple celebration in early June. This year was one of the funnest summer celebrations I've ever attended!

First, we dedicated two new altar spaces. Most of our camping and worship area are large fields with full sun, but in one spot, there is a great little island of flowers and trees that provide shade. In this space, we planted two new willow trees, and set up rough drafts for a healing altar and a Buddhist/Pagan peace altar.

Our church has a really long tradition of incorporating healing work into everything that we do. Having an outdoor altar that will be set up every time the land is used is a natural extension. And it's in such a great, shady place. I'm excited to see how it grows. 

Petitions for healing are written on popsicle sticks that are then thrown into a sacred fire.

One of our members has also been working on a Buddhist/Pagan peace altar that honors the goddess Kuan-Yin (she's one of the many Buddhas of the world and is known for her healing powers and compassion). He described "peace" in this instance as a sky that is totally clear, without clouds. It's a deep kind of peace that goes beyond just relaxation or feelings of tranquility. He will be gathering up the contents of the altar as it grows and carrying them to different Pagan events, where it will grow even more. I think it's wonderful that we will have that altar space to connect to the Pagan community and the world in general through the peace of Kuan-Yin.

After dedicating these two new altar spaces, we planted some very young, tiny willow trees as the head of the "island." Willows are a tree that have long been associated with healing, and they're special trees to the church. All of us brought dirt from our yards at home to the church's land and filled in the holes around the saplings with that dirt, symbolizing how we all come together as a community, despite our different backgrounds, locations, origins. Our priestess read a really beautiful poem to the willow tree. I'm excited to watch them grow!

We also had a great ritual to welcome Summer. Though I'm not very into the heat and getting tan, I always love the spring and summer time of year. The rituals are fun and light-hearted, but also very powerful. It's a time to celebrate strength and growth and the gathering of momentum toward change (or solidification). We created the sacred space by singing "You Are My Sunshine," and also sang chants celebrating the trees and the earth. We used colored balls to represent the Elements and had fun throwing them at each other to raise energy -- it did start getting a little similar to dodge ball. We also had pieces of colored paper cut in the shape of leaves on which we wrote blessings for our community. These were all put into a cardboard boat that will be sent down the creek near the land to carry our blessings out.

One of the things I love about our Summer's Arrival celebrations is that we also take time to identify those negative things in our lives that we want to remove. We do this using water balloons. We concentrate on what that negative thing is, whether it's a bad habit, an ailment, destructive relationship, etc., and push that energy into the balloon. Then, when ready, the balloon is smashed into the ground or crushed in our hands. It's a great way to feel some resolve and encouragement to change our lives and selves for the better.

My balloon represented procrastination and apathy. I allow too much of both to interfere with what I want to be doing.

After ritual was over, we all ate our potluck feast, and then started playing with fire! One of the ministers at the church does poi and other fire-spinning techniques, and always is willing to teach us and let us practice. Our priestess's son is also really good at the fire staff and he helps out a lot too. I've always been really shy to try them because I don't want people to see me mess up, but I decided that enough is enough last night and gave it a shot. I have a cousin who also spins poi, and my minister gave me a practice set to use at home, but I've never felt totally drawn to it. It takes a rhythm that feels really foreign to me. Instead, the more I watched, the more I wanted to try the staff, and when I finally did, it felt so right! 

A friend got this photo of me with the staff. I just couldn't stop laughing. 

I did feel awkward moving it around, but the more I got used to the weight, the better it felt and the more fun I had. I am definitely hooked now! I can't stop thinking about it. Over the coming weeks of the summer, I'm going to see what I can do about making a staff of my own so I can keep practicing. I'm keeping in mind that I made the promise to myself to not let procrastination continue to interfere with my life, so I want the fire staff to become a new project that I really dedicate myself to. It's also a good upper arm work-out, so there are more benefits than just being able to spin a burning stick!

I might not be the most summery of people, but I don't think any person can ignore that summer is a magical time of year. It's really come to represent friendship and community to me, and I'm so grateful to know all the people with whom I can celebrate the Sun and nature and Earth. And since the rest of the summer is going to be a lot of hard work for me (securing and internship, preparing for my last semester of college, etc.), it was great to have this day to spend with my church before joining in with the "real world." So, Happy Summer, Happy Festival Season -- I am looking forward to the Sun's blessings in the coming months!

G r a t i t u d e + S u n d a y

In my continued effort to be more positive and work toward self improvement, I'm joining Taryn at Wooly Moss Roots for Gratitude Sunday. In her words: "Sunday's heartfelt tradition. A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful. A list of gratitudes."

This week, I am grateful for:

* -- a certain item I found at a thrift store while looking for bottles to hold my Florida Water. It's become a new DIY project for me, but I don't want to say anything about it until it's finished. I've been photographing the whole process from the beginning.

* -- Clint bringing over some tools in order for me to work on my secret DIY project! I wouldn't be able to do it at all without him lending me some things.

* -- the buds growing on my trees in my front yard. I have a pair of trees that create a canopy over my front walkway. They're one of my favorite things about my house (and I don't even know what they are; I need to find that out!) and they've looked so tired and sad without leaves. They are becoming filled with little, green, hanging buds and pollen. I can't wait until they are in full bloom with leaves!

* -- seeing a little House Wren land on my deck, and then watching it curl up in the soil in the pot holding my Jaguar Daisies. He shook his feathers and wings in the dust for a few seconds and just sat there in the leaves. It was so cute. What a perfect time to look out my window at my plants!

* -- some time spent in the garden center at work. I really hate my job, but it's easier to stay there than having to find another place and have to go through training all over again. For a few hours on Friday, I got to cover the garden center and I spent that time learning as much as I could between helping customers. One of the guys I work with gave me lots of advice and encouragement for my containers, and made some suggestions on how to change my watering schedule. I hope his suggestions work!

* -- coupons. I've seen some episodes of that show Extreme Couponing and a lot of it makes me angry. Those people are buying things they don't need or use just because they have coupons for it. And although some of them donate their extra items, most of them create enormous stockpiles and keep it all for themselves, even though it will never be used. One woman on the show even bought tons of bags of cat treats, doesn't own a cat, and was just keeping them because she got them for free with coupons. But anyway, I've started collecting coupons on my own, trying to find ones for items I buy all the time and things I like to treat myself to once in a while. The other day, I made my grocery list and tried to use as many coupons as I could for needed items. I ended up saving $17, even getting an entire carton of eggs for free, paying only $4 for a $9 bottle of vitamins, and other discounts. I know that doesn't sound like a lot of money, but $17 is almost two meals, half a tank of gas, or around 10 items of clothing at a thrift store. So I was happy about that and definitely going to continue!

* -- getting two exams out of the way during this past week of class. I have a little more time to catch up on other things I'm reading. I like to spend my breaks at work catching up on books, so now I can do that for a few days guilt-free, because I won't be blowing off study time.

* -- a fun party Friday night after work. It was a friend's birthday, I got to hang out with some people I don't see often, and saw a really cool band play. I wish I had more time to get out.

* -- my mom sending an early birthday present. She always finds amazing things, I don't know how! This year, she sent me another Tibetan-style bell, the second year in a row. They have beautiful designs and I love their tones. I hung the one from last year out on my deck in my container garden area. It's a little heavy, so the wind doesn't make it ring too often, but I love hearing that little sound every once in a while. I'm so excited watching my deck become a new sanctuary at my house. If only I could get the wasps to go away!!

Homemade Florida Water

For a while now, I've been looking into homemade alternatives to items that I normally buy. It's a goal of mine to do this whenever possible because it saves so much money. I'm collecting recipes for laundry detergent, shower and window cleaners, fabric softener, anything I can think of or come across on Pinterest. But I'm also collecting recipes for spiritual things like bath salts, oil blends, and waters, Florida Water being one of those.

I would say the majority of the witchcraft I do at this point in my life either has to do with healing or cleansing. Washing away the old, negative spiritual dust and making space to allow positive changes to come in, in the form of thoughts, feelings, and energies. Cleansing activities have an effect on me that is both uplifting and calming at the same time. I've been neglecting my practice lately, and it's taken too much of a toll. With spring having arrived, my spirits are lifting and I'm beginning to make more time for myself (and others) on a spiritual level. Beginning to make a lot of the things I use at home is going to help reawaken and strengthen my new resolve.

Florida Water is one of my favorite holy substances. It's not holy for everyone -- some just wear it as a cologne. As Catherine Yronwode explains, it "is a 19th century formula for a commercially-prepared toilet water...that blends an array of floral essential oils in a water-alcohol base. The name refers to the fabled Fountain of Youth said to have been located in Florida."

Commercial Florida Water. Original photograph found here.

It is one of my favorite smells. It reminds me of later summer and early fall, and represents a lot of great memories for me. One of the best rituals I've ever participated in was a Voodoo healing ritual, and as we walked down a path in the woods to the ritual area, we anointed ourselves with Florida Water along the way. It is used for self-anointment, anointing altars, and many different types of spiritual cleansing. It is also a great addition to offerings left for ancestors or land spirits.

I've seen different recipes for it before, but I really wanted something simple, with ingredients that I can easily access. I decided on using Stephanie Rose Bird's recipe, found in her book Sticks, Stones, Roots & Bones. I read this book a few months ago, and I'm completely in love with it. Hoodoo and conjure practices are something I've been getting a lot of exposure to over the last year and a half, and they've influenced me deeply already. This book has been a great resource for my individual study of American folk magic. 

The ingredients are very simple: distilled water, 100 proof vodka, and lavender, clove bud, and bergamot oil. A friend from lab generously gave me some of her oils. I substituted just clove oil in place of the clove bud. It's an easier oil to find, and ordering online for less common oils can get really expensive quickly.

After I had all of my ingredients, I really needed to find some bottles in which to store the Water -- and that means a trip to peddler's and antique malls. I never give up chances to go shopping there! And I had some amazing luck today, I really couldn't believe it! I found a tall, green bottle that I'm using to store the bulk amount of the Water, and a small, dark blue glass bottle with a spray pump. When I was finished, I couldn't resist setting them up with my "Voo-Boo" doll that I bought from a friend at last year's Nashville Pagan Pride Day:

Oh, and the prices of those bottles? The spray bottle was $2.25, the tall green one, $1.99! So perfect and pretty. So now, I'm going to let my new homemade Florida Water settle for a few days before I transfer some into the spray bottle. The smell is a little strong for my liking, so I think I will be diluting it a little further with more distilled water before using it. I'm excited to research further all the different ways Florida Water can be used in a spiritual setting.  Stephanie Rose Bird says, "No Hoodoo home is complete without Florida Water." I agree entirely. Today has been a blessed day.

G r a t i t u d e + S u n d a y

In my continued effort to be more positive and work toward self improvement, I'm joining Taryn at Wooly Moss Roots for Gratitude Sunday. In her words: "Sunday's heartfelt tradition. A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful. A list of gratitudes."

It has been very rough, but,

this week, I am grateful for:

* -- the weather warming a little. I am definitely a cold weather fan, but having it a bit warmer makes it easier to spend more time outside with my new plants. I want to do everything right by them. Even though it's just a slowly-growing collection of containers on my deck, I still want it to be a real garden.

* -- the last Friday exam for my hematology class. It's a huge relief to not have to worry about weekly tests, so I can devote more time to the other schoolwork I have to do.

* -- spending time with my friend Lauren. I did a house cleansing for her new place on Wednesday. Getting to share some chanting and energy work with a friend was great for me. More motivation to become active and involved once again.

* -- spending time with a Sphynx cat at Lauren's new house! One of her roommates owns him. They are one of my favorite cat breeds, and he was a classic Sphynx. They're so much fun.

* -- my church, always, and my Priestess. There is a new law that was just passed in Kentucky, the Religious Freedom Restoration Act. I'm very apprehensive about what may happen in the future, especially because the wording of this law is so vague. Lawmakers overturned Gov. Beshear's veto of it, unfortunately. My favorite Pagan blog, the Wild Hunt covered this story, and the Priestess of my church (also a great friend), spoke about her reaction to it. I'm grateful to have a strong role model like her and that she is such a positive voice for us in the community. She's so inspiring to me.

* -- finishing advisement for my last semester as an undergrad. I thought I'd never get here. Registration for those last classes is on Monday. I'll be doing some TA'ing next semester which I'm looking forward to.

* -- Sean being my Accountabilibuddy. We have similar goals (and similar mindsets). If I have him to answer to for my successes, and mistakes, it's going to help keep me focused on taking myself back. He understands well how easy it is to sabotage yourself, and his advice during our conversation yesterday was really helpful. "Carve out the useless stuff, and find inside the best version of yourself." That's the affirmation I'm going to be reflecting upon for the coming weeks.

G r a t i t u d e + S u n d a y

Joining Taryn at Wooly Moss Roots for Gratitude Sunday, and my list this week is all about Friends.

This week, I am grateful for:

* -- the flowers Clint brought me. I love having flowers in a vase on the dining table to look at (and I can't wait to start growing my own, so I can make my own arrangements! I will start sometime this week!)

* -- Clint picking up some soup for me at the store while I had an upset stomach today. Soup helps everything. It's my favorite meal.

* -- a friend from class helping out a friend from my church. She needs a new home for one of her roosters and the problem might have been solved. I'll have to get an update from them.

* -- my friend Lauren also bringing things over earlier when I was more sick! Including vitamins, freezer pops, and clementines. I juiced the clementines with some grapefruit, apple, and carrot.

* -- my friend KZ from New York and her girlfriend visiting! It's the second time that Katie has visited me in Kentucky, and we had so much fun! Great times with margaritas, arguments about Spike and Angel, pink lipstick, and temporary tattoos! It was wonderful; one of these times she must stay longer for more than just one night. It's never enough. I hope she and Becky have fun in Memphis this evening.

* -- something that hasn't technically happened yet, and won't for another 45 minutes, but: my friends letting me watch the Game of Thrones premiere at their house. I've been reading the ASoIaF books since 2004 or so, and I like the show a lot. I can't afford HBO or even cable at all, so between my friends letting me watch with them and my dad letting me use his HBO Go subscription, I think I will be covered to watch!

* -- lastly, being a friend to myself. When I was feeling a lot sicker earlier, I drew a hot bath and made some bath "tea" -- just simple cheesecloth and whatever herbs you want to use. I did lavender and chamomile for relaxation. It's important to be friendly to yourself.

G r a t i t u d e + S u n d a y

In my continued effort to be more positive and work toward self improvement, I'm joining Taryn at Wooly Moss Roots for Gratitude Sunday. In her words: "Sunday's heartfelt tradition. A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful. A list of gratitudes."

This week, I am grateful for:

* -- Spring Break! I know last week I was worried it would mess me up, and I know by now that it has totally thrown off my schedule, but wow, it was needed. I had time with my pets, time to read, and time to do some photography and writing.

* -- all the time I had to clean. I don't know how people keep their houses clean everyday. Between school and work, it's basically impossible to keep my place looking like a person lives there and not a herd of pigs. I try to clean at least one room or space each day, but sometimes I'm just too exhausted. At least I got to catch up a little bit.

* -- that I haven't yet figured out how to fix my clippers. At first, this was making me so angry: I removed the blade to clean out the little pieces of Sól's hair (he's a big dog, it takes a while to shave his whole body). But now I can't figure out how to get the blade back on. However, it's gotten so cold again -- snow, in Kentucky, in late March...! At least Sól still has all of his leg hair attached so hopefully he isn't too too cold when we go outside.

* -- getting to video-chat with my best friend, Sean! I know he reads this and his head swells every time he sees his name. I like contributing to his future cerebral explosion.

* -- a friend telling me about where she buys her henna hair dye. I've tried different henna dyes in the past, even Lush's, and they've never worked for me; the Lush brand even fried my hair like box dye! Her hair always looks amazing and she was nice enough to tell me her source. She also gave me lots of good tips that help protect her hair from drying. I hope I'll be able to afford some henna soon.

* -- exciting plans made with an old friend from NYC. I'm sure there will be more said about this next week. It will be her second time visiting me in Kentucky!

* -- my dad sending me an old charger from his computer. It seems to work fine in mine, so that saves me around $80 replacing the one I broke, if the prices are still the same from 4-5 years ago.

* -- my dog for being incredibly silly and sweet. There were a lot of laughs this week at his antics, and even more so because he looks pretty funny with poofy, curly legs and a shaved body. It is one of the best things waking up with him snuggling in bed (or sometimes standing above me, gently wagging his tail, wanting to go outside).

* -- finally finding chicory coffee in Kentucky!! (I could go on with exclamation points). I found out that the local Kroger now carries Luzianne brand chicory coffee from New Orleans. I seriously cannot wait to wake up every morning now! So many memories are tied to that taste, and a little piece of me gets to walk down La Rue Chartres with each sip. I can't wait for the next time I go to back to NOLA, and it's exciting because I have no idea yet when that will be.

* -- my church. We celebrated Ostara (the Spring Equinox) yesterday. I love being able to see them and wish I lived closer! I won the scavenger hunt, got a promising message about my plans for container gardening from my egg divination, and got to spend time with lots of great friends. I took lots of photos, but haven't had a lot of time to go through them all, so I will definitely write more about that in a few days.

* -- Clint being able to help me with the cost of getting out to the Ostara celebration yesterday. I only had enough money for gas, so I couldn't afford our food contribution for the potluck dinner. I would have felt terrible showing up without food, so I'm so glad that he agreed to pay for the food if I paid for the gas and drove.

* -- being able to take home some rhododendron from my church's seed exchange. I've never grown it before, but they all assured me it would do well in containers. I'm going to start researching it and I really hope I can afford some flower pots and soil soon. I know it's going to be getting hot quickly, so I'd love to get some plants started on the deck. I want to have a fruitful year, literally!

(Update : it's not rhododendron, but philodendron. Can't you tell how black my thumbs are...)

♥ Spring Blessings ♥

G r a t i t u d e + S u n d a y

In my continued effort to be more positive and work toward self improvement, I'm joining Taryn at Wooly Moss Roots for Gratitude Sunday. In her words: "Sunday's heartfelt tradition. A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful. A list of gratitudes."

This week, I am grateful for:

* -- coffee. Always coffee.

* -- my iPad. I broke my computer charger the other day so I'm leaving my laptop turned off so I can save it for total emergencies. This is the first time I'm ever writing a blogpost on a tablet or mobile device, so hopefully it all goes well. It's a little more difficult, but I need to adjust to technology someday.

* -- spring break. At first, I really thought it was going to mess up my school rhythm (and it probably will), but now I am so happy to be getting some time off!

* -- my pets, Loki and Sól. They went through a lot this week. I used them in class to draw blood in order to help younger students make blood smears and read packed cell volumes. They both ended up getting stuck a lot, but were so good about it. Since they are both healthy pets, they very rarely (about once a year at the most) need anything involving needles, but the animals we own at the university sometimes are stuck multiple times per week. I wanted to use my animals this week to give them a break, and I feel so lucky about how understanding they were.

* -- that Loki is such a healthy cat... At one point when I was drawing her blood, it was clotting in the
 syringe and I had to get it into an anticoagulant tube quickly, but I couldn't get the needle off. I
accidentally stuck myself with the needle and sort of freaked out for the rest of the day. But nothing has come out of it and everything seems fine. Good thing she's a cat and not a human!

* -- the birds. I have to say it again because they just bring so much simple joy to my life! My favorites right now are the house wrens who are always jumping around my deck. Some of them look like their gathering nest material, but I haven't seen any nests in the surrounding trees yet.

* -- my dreams. I've been remembering them more often lately and I seriously don't know what I would do if I ever lost my dreams.

* -- my lab partner letting me borrow an old pair of rain boots for our visit to the pig farm. It would have been bad-news-bears for me if I hadn't had those.

* -- those friends I have who are also anti-St. Patrick's Day. I'm fine with wearing green and getting drunk, but I will never celebrate the legacy of that man. I like knowing other people who understand and feel the same way. Solidarity is nice.

* -- finally seeing Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds in concert!! I've been in love with him for years and I am so so grateful that Clint was able to get tickets. I think it was one of the best concerts I have ever attended. He had such a powerful stage presence; I couldn't take my eyes off him. I might write a separate post about the whole night soon, and I'll have to get a photo of the poster I bought once its framed. I am also so grateful that he played the song 'Stagger Lee.' Never, ever did I think in my whole life that I would see the Bad Seeds play that song. Completely amazing experience that I will not forget.

Photo of Nick Cave from the Push the Sky Away tour, 2013. I could not find the photographer's name.

Self-Progressive

Don't ever grow up. Don't lose your inner child. 

I think these sentiments are very common, but they interfere completely, with my life at least. I've been holding onto youth with a crippling form of nostalgia, while under the guise of autonomy. I might be a SWF (single white female), living alone, completing school, contemplating internships and master's degrees, working a shitty job to pay bills (Dad still pays rent), trying to handle exams and labwork every week, a high drive dog, an arrogant cat. I'm not independent. I don't think I can even imagine independence. 

I feel a lot of shame toward how dependent I still am at my age. I've never filed my own taxes, I don't know my credit score (and I know I won't be approved for even a JC Penny card), if there is ever an emergency, I have no savings. Once I'm off my parents' health insurance, then I won't have health insurance. It's a sobering slap-in-the-face everyday to acknowledge how helpless I really am, how irresponsible, and childish.

But I'm trying my hardest to change, and to form new habits. Those moments when I feel my own strength, I maximize it to stand up to the stress I feel bombarding me everyday. I'm letting go of worry, and resisting anger. I'm taking time to devote to relaxation and my pets and myself -- and when I don't always have that time, I'm taking steps to create it. I woke up at six o'clock this morning out of choice, and my goal for tomorrow is to do the same: allow myself to experience more fully the light patterns unique to that time of day; allow myself the morning ritual of quietly drinking coffee, reading, finding inspiration, spending time with Loki and Sól (my cat and my dog).

Making time for yourself is important. If you don't, you miss all the things that really matter in life. My affirmation for this sentiment today -- my happy dog playing in the tiny amount of snow with which were blessed so early this morning:

It's 2013, and it's officially March. This is going to be my year, and I won't let me stop myself . . .