G r a t i t u d e + S u n d a y

In my continued effort to be more positive and work toward self improvement, I'm joining Taryn at Wooly Moss Roots for Gratitude Sunday. In her words: "Sunday's heartfelt tradition. A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful. A list of gratitudes."

This week, I am grateful for:

* -- coffee. Always coffee.

* -- my iPad. I broke my computer charger the other day so I'm leaving my laptop turned off so I can save it for total emergencies. This is the first time I'm ever writing a blogpost on a tablet or mobile device, so hopefully it all goes well. It's a little more difficult, but I need to adjust to technology someday.

* -- spring break. At first, I really thought it was going to mess up my school rhythm (and it probably will), but now I am so happy to be getting some time off!

* -- my pets, Loki and Sól. They went through a lot this week. I used them in class to draw blood in order to help younger students make blood smears and read packed cell volumes. They both ended up getting stuck a lot, but were so good about it. Since they are both healthy pets, they very rarely (about once a year at the most) need anything involving needles, but the animals we own at the university sometimes are stuck multiple times per week. I wanted to use my animals this week to give them a break, and I feel so lucky about how understanding they were.

* -- that Loki is such a healthy cat... At one point when I was drawing her blood, it was clotting in the
 syringe and I had to get it into an anticoagulant tube quickly, but I couldn't get the needle off. I
accidentally stuck myself with the needle and sort of freaked out for the rest of the day. But nothing has come out of it and everything seems fine. Good thing she's a cat and not a human!

* -- the birds. I have to say it again because they just bring so much simple joy to my life! My favorites right now are the house wrens who are always jumping around my deck. Some of them look like their gathering nest material, but I haven't seen any nests in the surrounding trees yet.

* -- my dreams. I've been remembering them more often lately and I seriously don't know what I would do if I ever lost my dreams.

* -- my lab partner letting me borrow an old pair of rain boots for our visit to the pig farm. It would have been bad-news-bears for me if I hadn't had those.

* -- those friends I have who are also anti-St. Patrick's Day. I'm fine with wearing green and getting drunk, but I will never celebrate the legacy of that man. I like knowing other people who understand and feel the same way. Solidarity is nice.

* -- finally seeing Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds in concert!! I've been in love with him for years and I am so so grateful that Clint was able to get tickets. I think it was one of the best concerts I have ever attended. He had such a powerful stage presence; I couldn't take my eyes off him. I might write a separate post about the whole night soon, and I'll have to get a photo of the poster I bought once its framed. I am also so grateful that he played the song 'Stagger Lee.' Never, ever did I think in my whole life that I would see the Bad Seeds play that song. Completely amazing experience that I will not forget.

Photo of Nick Cave from the Push the Sky Away tour, 2013. I could not find the photographer's name.

Photo-An-Hour : 9th March 2013

I've seen this project on many blogs -- take one photo every hour for your day -- and I wanted to try it so badly. So on my last day off from work, I decided to do it. It worked out that the same day was also Margarita Saturday. Needless to say, after a certain point in the night, the photos stopped, but I already love having the memories of each of the [early] hours of that day. I don't know where this project originated, but I'm glad it did. I'll be doing this again in the future.

✶ ~ Margarita Saturday ~ ✶

10:30 -- COFFEE.

11:30 -- a trip to the animal shelter to gather skin swabs. I wish I could take this cat home (I drew blood off the same cat a few weeks ago...)

12:30 -- looking out my window at the beautiful weather.

13:30 -- writing study guides for microbiology.

14:30 -- doing my makeup and getting ready to go out.

15:30 -- Margarita Saturday begins!

16:30 -- one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor . . .

17:30 -- so this happened.

18:30 -- Sól enjoying the party!

19:30 -- the party enjoying Sól.

....maybe it's a good thing that's as far as I got. I wish I had gotten a fresh photo of the new bruise I got shooting arrows in the yard the same night. This was such a fun idea (and a fun day)! If anyone knows of the original source of Photo-An-Hour, please let me know! I'd love to give credit to the idea.

I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend. Spring Break (and Nick Cave!!!) next week. Hopefully I'll get the chance to do this again soon~

G r a t i t u d e + S u n d a y

In my continued effort to be more positive and work toward self improvement, I'm joining Taryn at Wooly Moss Roots for Gratitude Sunday. In her words: "Sunday's heartfelt tradition. A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful. A list of gratitudes."

This week, I am grateful for:

* -- Spring coming. I just ordered some bleeding hearts bulbs from my professor. I'm excited to watch them grow and bring some beauty to my lonely deck.

* -- my conversation with one of the lab techs at Breathitt (the regional diagnostic veterinary lab). She gave me the advice that I should get a master's degree in microbiology or virology, and because of that, I've started communications with people who can help me learn more. I never thought originally that this is a direction I would take.

* -- my best friend, Sean. We are finally going to write a comic together. He helps my insanity stay strong.

* -- coffee, and that my body hasn't been getting too jittery with the caffeine (sometimes I just can't have any). I don't think I'd be able to get through the Breathitt program without it.

* -- that I had work off yesterday. It was unexpected, so I wasn't able to go to my church's annual meeting, but I did get to do Margarita Saturday with some friends (not grateful for the hangover, however). The time off also allowed me to try a 'photo an hour' project, which will probably be tomorrow's post.

* -- the temperature warming up outside. Although I love the cold, my electric bill is killing me each month. I can't wait to see that number lower...

* -- Clint helping me spray paint some old towel racks I had. I'm hanging one in the kitchen to save counter space (for towels, spices, etc.) and with his help, I don't have to get anything new, so I ended up only spending $1 on spray paint.

* -- getting a little more time to read this week, since I had less exams. My dad gave me the book Cloud Atlas, and the extra time allowed me to really dive in it. I love it so far.

* -- work finally changing my schedule and giving me the time off each week that I asked for back in January. I wanted some days off in the middle of the week so I'll have more time for homework and studying. It's taken them over two months to respond to my request, but at least it's getting done now.

* -- myself. I really made some time this week just for me, to relax in the bath and wind down my stress. I definitely need to do more of that.

* -- NPR. I love it so much, especially Science Friday. I wish I had more time to listen to it, but I usually have class during all my favorite programs. Last Friday, however, I got to hear part of this segment about bees and caffeine. I want to finish listening to it soon.

* -- the birds coming to my bird feeder! The update from last week is that yes, the squirrels are eating the crap out of my birdseed, but at least the feeder is heavy enough that they can't pull it down and it isn't getting damaged. I am going to look at squirrel-proof feeders next week and see if I can get another one hung that will only serve the birds. I love watching and identifying all the types I'm seeing in my yard now.

* -- my kitty falling asleep like this, because life needs cute or what's the point?:

Bath-Tub

-Margaret Atwood

Sometimes when that pain is twisting you, gnawing at your spine, eating your stomach -- all you need for relief is heat, water, salt, floral scents of lavender and honeysuckle, a good book, a pot of chamomile tea . . .

I really wish I had more time to give to myself.

A Walk in the Woods

Clint and I took Sól (my Standard Poodle) out in the woods with us yesterday afternoon. Puppy loved it!

Friends walking together.

For all the things I dislike about Kentucky, I love the landscape.

Sól got filthy in the snow melt mud. I can't wait to shave him down...

Happy Moon Day; have a great week!

G r a t i t u d e + S u n d a y

In my continued effort to be more positive and work toward self improvement, I'm joining Taryn at Wooly Moss Roots for Gratitude Sunday. In her words: "Sunday's heartfelt tradition. A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful. A list of gratitudes."

This week, I am grateful for:

* -- a lack of exams (only one)! It was nice to get a break from constant studying.

* -- my procrastination for shaving my dog. I never would have expected it to snow in March in Kentucky, and he would have been cold.

* -- not having to drive to my necropsy lab tomorrow. It's nice knowing that tonight when I go to sleep, I won't have to wake up prepared for another hour and a half drive first thing in the morning.

* -- Clint surprising me with coffee and another rose this morning. He knows exactly where to put it: in the vase with the dried roses, my slowly growing bouquet.

* -- my professor helping me with professional connections. Maybe securing an internship in the north won't be as hard as I originally thought.

* -- the sun today. The light is beautiful and strong, giving it the perfect feeling of chilled air with heat from above. It's some of my favorite winter weather.

* -- the weather remaining colder. Normally it starts to heat up a lot around this time and the bugs and wasps begin coming out. I'm glad that there's a little bit of a delay!

* -- my gardening friends. They've made a lot of great suggestions and recommendations. They're helping me be more confident about starting a container herb garden on my deck.

* -- my dad's party mix recipe! I made it for the first time yesterday and now I have a snack that will last for weeks and reminds me of home.

* -- the presents my mom always finds. For Christmas, she gave me some wonderful locally-made soap, bath salts, and lotion. I love using them each day.

* -- my pets. They keep me warm at night, especially Loki crawling under the covers. It's still a little cold in my house.

* -- being introduced to Balance Yoga Studio. They have a broader schedule so it helps me to find more time during the week to set aside for my practice. They are also cheap!

* -- my student discount at Orsheln! They're a local farm supply store that carries my preferred dog and cat foods, and now I know that I can save a little more money on them.

* -- Pinterest. I know it sounds lame, it's just a website. But since I've started really applying ideas I find on it to my own life, I'm seeing lots of little improvements.

* -- the birds. There are tons of fat robins and cardinals all over my yard and I love watching them. I just got them a new bird feeder too; maybe next week I will be grateful if the squirrels have left it alone!

Self-Progressive

Don't ever grow up. Don't lose your inner child. 

I think these sentiments are very common, but they interfere completely, with my life at least. I've been holding onto youth with a crippling form of nostalgia, while under the guise of autonomy. I might be a SWF (single white female), living alone, completing school, contemplating internships and master's degrees, working a shitty job to pay bills (Dad still pays rent), trying to handle exams and labwork every week, a high drive dog, an arrogant cat. I'm not independent. I don't think I can even imagine independence. 

I feel a lot of shame toward how dependent I still am at my age. I've never filed my own taxes, I don't know my credit score (and I know I won't be approved for even a JC Penny card), if there is ever an emergency, I have no savings. Once I'm off my parents' health insurance, then I won't have health insurance. It's a sobering slap-in-the-face everyday to acknowledge how helpless I really am, how irresponsible, and childish.

But I'm trying my hardest to change, and to form new habits. Those moments when I feel my own strength, I maximize it to stand up to the stress I feel bombarding me everyday. I'm letting go of worry, and resisting anger. I'm taking time to devote to relaxation and my pets and myself -- and when I don't always have that time, I'm taking steps to create it. I woke up at six o'clock this morning out of choice, and my goal for tomorrow is to do the same: allow myself to experience more fully the light patterns unique to that time of day; allow myself the morning ritual of quietly drinking coffee, reading, finding inspiration, spending time with Loki and Sól (my cat and my dog).

Making time for yourself is important. If you don't, you miss all the things that really matter in life. My affirmation for this sentiment today -- my happy dog playing in the tiny amount of snow with which were blessed so early this morning:

It's 2013, and it's officially March. This is going to be my year, and I won't let me stop myself . . .